Default Vs. Preferred State: How to live your best life

There are two kinds of people in this world. Those who live in what I’ll call “default state” and those who live in “preferred state”. And here’s where I get the tiniest bit geeky and invoke the image of an energy graph for an atom, where the atom can be in one of two states, as shown below.


At any given moment, a person can either be in the initial energy state or the lower energy state. He cannot be in both, and he can move from one to the other. But this moving requires two things: energy and time (no quantum tunneling in this analogy). And most of us think we don’t have enough of either.

Default state is where most of us exist, as reactants. It’s where we started, probably as soon as we got into high school. It’s where most of the people we know are, and it isn’t so bad, at least not for most of us. The default state is where you stay if you do the bare minimum. You get C's and B's. You do what it takes to keep your job, maybe only just enough to get a raise or promotion. You prefer relaxing in front of the TV to starting that podcast you’ve always wanted to try or writing that novel or taking that online class about cryptography——even though any one of these things (as activation energy) might propel your life into a much better state, the preferred state.

The preferred state is where we really want to be. It’s where our career trajectory is on an upward trend, our personal lives are in order, we’re in shape, eating right and getting enough sleep. It’s where we end up after spending time and energy (sometimes a lot of it) to meet our goals. It’s where we’re happy, or, at least, happier than we were in the default state. It’s where we do our best to live our lives without regrets. We try really, really hard. We prioritize those things that will build up our futures and the futures of those we love. We don’t prioritize things that are a waste of time, things that aren’t an investment on the future, things like constantly browsing the Internet, watching TV or Netflix or saying yes to every party we’re invited to.

Once you’ve gotten past the activation stage, with the help of all that activation energy, those productive actions and good habits, you end up as a reactant, in the preferred state. And notice how the energy required to maintain a product is lower than that required to maintain a reactant. What does that translate into in terms of the analogy? Your life as a product is easier than your life as a reactant. Once you’re a reactant you’re a successful person with lots of good habits and a relatively easy life and enjoyable life. Most likely, you're doing work that you love to do. So don’t sit still, don’t let opportunity pass you buy. Be proactive, take the initiative. Those actions don’t go unrewarded. The energy and time you invest will get you someplace, even though it might feel like you’ve got to climb a mountain in the meantime.

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